I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
