Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize