Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
