We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
