Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
