Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
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so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
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There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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