She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
