she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I touched a dick in church today
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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