I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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