Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
