i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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