just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
