just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
