i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
