She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
