guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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