Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Come on in and take your pants off
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