We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
