I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
