you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
