Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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