If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
