Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
