Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
