i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
and she was petting her beer can
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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