I hate your face
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fling myself into the sun
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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