Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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