are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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