her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
bring money and cleavage
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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