last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
