Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
