You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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