i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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