i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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