i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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