Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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