Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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