So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
