where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
