I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Randomize
