last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
