I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Randomize
