oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
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there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
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Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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