allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
