Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
