I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize