Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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