Having a random hookup so left but love u
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
