I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
