There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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