Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
