Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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