How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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