I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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