We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
