Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
