You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
