distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
