her vagine was all disorganized.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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