Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize