Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i drank out of a bidet.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
