Your tits are I can't wait for
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
