i barfeds in our rink
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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